Four meanings of “No”
When people say no to a request, what do they mean?
OK, sometimes No means “No” but I’m fond of saying that No means
* Not you
* Not now
* Not yet
or…
* Not this
Let’s go through these.
“Not you” means that they feel they can say ‘no’ to you. They might say ‘yes’ to someone else from your organization.
“Not now” means you can try to ask them again later. You might hear “not now” when someone says, “Times are tough” or “I have a lot of commitments right now.” Ask if you can come back in a few months.
“Not yet” might mean that they haven’t been involved enough in the organization. Perhaps you can get them involved and ask again later. Or it might mean that they don’t have enough information, and you need to provide more.
“Not this” might mean that they would respond to another cause, but not this one. Perhaps you provide recreation for developmentally disabled kids. They might like programs for developmentally disabled adults, or they might prefer job training programs. You can refer them to another program. To me, this is a real No. As Terry Axelrod of Benevon (www.benevon.com) says, “Bless and release.” Don’t keep bugging them, let them go.
A seminar student recently asked me for an example of when someone said, “Not you.” I replied, “I’ve actually done that. I turned down an organization’s staff member who asked if I would fill in on a board of directors for six months until their next elections. I turned her down, telling her that she should find someone who could then run for an open position, where it would count that they’d already been on the board for six months. Then I added, ‘You know, I can turn you down, but if So-and-So (a board member) asked me, I could never turn him down for anything.’” That guy never asked, so I never said yes. So it might be a rare answer but it does happen.
If you figure out what people are saying to you, you can turn a No into an opportunity, or at least you can get a straight answer and go on to your next prospect. The main lesson is that hearing No isn’t going to kill you.
I’ll be teaching Fast Fundraising in Ventura, CA on December 17. Please email me if you’d like to attend.
If you have questions about fundraising, please contact me, Katherine Wertheim, at katherine@werth-it.com.